How do I know if I’m a “good wife”?

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How do I know if I’m a “good wife”?

Terms like “weaker sex”, “inferior”, and “unequal” have been used in the past to drive many of the changes in women’s roles both at home and in the workplace. Much effort has been given to opening new opportunities and possibilities for women in the workplace as well as redefining roles in the home between husbands and wives. In many cases the roles have become very vague and undefined, left to each couple to decide how they want to navigate the tasks and responsibilities required of them each day. For women specifically it can be very hard to know what their role is in their marriage because the vagueness of societal correctness and seeming negativity surrounding “traditional” roles puts them in an unenviable position. What does it mean to be a woman? Wife? Mom?

There are a few ways to answer this question. One method is to use your favorite search engine and search for the leading research on what a “good wife/mom/woman” does and do all those things. Presumably when you’ve been able to complete the list of things you will be able to say you were a “good mom/wife/woman”.

Another method is to look around you at what women who you admire do and imitate their personality, passions, discipline methods, and behaviors. The assumption being, the closer I am to being like “them” the close I’ll be to being a “good mom/wife/woman”. This method is often used consciously or unconsciously in relation to gifts and providing for our children. In an effort to keep our children happy we often times try to provide many of the material possessions they see their friends enjoying. This is done despite the fact that we all know “things” don’t buy happiness and often times the item becomes lost in the shuffle within a short time.

In the search for becoming a “good mom/wife/woman” it can be easy to look around at those close to us and identify things we don’t want to do or become. Statements that begin with “Well, I would never ___________________” begin to freely flow from our mouth or run through our head. We begin judging others and ourselves based on what we think is right and wrong (usually with a very limited knowledge of all the details). As soon as we begin evaluating other women around us we begin to take our eyes off the goal of coming something (a good mom/wife/woman) and we begin focusing our attention on not coming something (namely the things we’ve identified in others as “bad”). By spending time focusing on what we don’t want to be we ultimately never make progress toward becoming what we initially sought out to become- a good mom/wife/woman.

One final method of learning how to be a “good mom/wife/woman” is to find an outside source that gives guidelines, roles, responsibilities, as well as encouragement, hope, security, peace, and structure on how to be the best mom/wife/woman you were created to be. In order to find this source you need to look outside yourself, your experiences, thoughts, patterns, and goals and begin defining “success” in terms aligned with what the source has given you. By now you may be asking if there is such a source that does all the things mentioned above, and if so, where is it so you can begin looking over the “list” and evaluating whether or not you think it’ll work for you  based on what you’ve seen and what you think will work.

The answer is yes, there is such a source. A creator always knows its creation best because it fashioned it, molded it, and designed it with purpose and intent. In the same way were were created with purpose and intent. We were created for relationships. Ultimately with our creator but also with those around us. In order to be the best mom/wife/woman you can be you need to be connected to the Creator of your story and begin to align your thoughts, actions, behaviors, desires, passions, and goals with those of the Creator.

Many of the articles on this site will help you begin to see the Creators picture of what a mom, wife, and woman look like so I would encourage you to continue reading so you can become who you were created to be!

2017-11-04T21:33:05+00:00

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